Love Actually is All Around

In January of this year, I started keeping a gratitude jar (yes, thanks Pinterest)  .  In essence, I wrote things on small pieces of paper that I was grateful for - big and small.  I was better at doing this regularly in the beginning of 2013, and tapered off a bit toward the end of the year.  Still, it's been fun to read through them and see the things that have happened this past year.  A few themes emerged: My travels  took me to Texas in January on an amazing adventure with Sarah.  We explored Austin, San Antonio and finished in Denton with my dear friend Philippe de Neige.  Sarah is my travel buddy - who else would want to visit Friday Night Lights filming locations with me?  Or spend hours drinking delicious whiskey at Contigo?  And hearing Philippe talk about the book he's writing about zombies was such a gift!  I can't wait to read the finished book, friend. I also had the pleasure of visiting Grand Cayman in March - doing some things I had never done before,

I am away this weekend. My busy season at work is, theoretically, over.  I plan a trip each year after the busy season to serve as my light at the end of the tunnel in the midst of chaos.  This year, I planned a weekend in Port Washington/Cedarburg, Wisconsin.  Here I sit, in the Java House .  I'm spending time reading, writing, reflecting.  I can't wait to have a glass of wine and sit in front of the fire in my cute room at the Inn tonight. In preparation for this trip, I had to create a playlist.  Of course.  This is what I do.  It took me a while this morning to get it done, and it pushed back my departure time.  But it must be done.  Music is how I process life.  It's how I remember things.  I can remember what music was playing at key points in my life - important conversations etc.  It's my mental record of life - playlists. It works like this. I create a playlist - letting my mind pick whatever seems right.  Then I look at the finished product, and it provi

In church yesterday morning, we all recited the Lord's prayer together.  "Our Father...give us this day our daily bread...deliver us from  email. "  Wait, what?  I've been praying this prayer since I was born.  Why did I just say  email  instead of  evil ?  Maybe it was just a slip of my tired mind.  But, as I do with most things, I wanted to dig a little deeper and uncover WHY I feel the need to be delivered from email. My former pastor, Matt Tebbe, once tweeted this:  The most neglected and undervalued spiritual discipline: sleep.  Easy to forget how vital it is to surrender to how God made me.   This really hit home for me.  My whole life, sleep has been a struggle for me.  Partially because I am naturally a night owl.  But I'm never really tired.  Naps are not in my vocabulary. I physically can't do it.  It is almost impossible for my head to hit the pillow and for me to instantly fall asleep. Even more rare is getting into bed before 11:00 - regardless

I found out today that Kahlua (my sister & sister-in-law's dog) has bone cancer. It's spread and her time left with us will be short.  Kahlua is an old dog - a lab mix, rescue dog.  She's about 11-years-old.  She's had a wonderful life and, though I am sad it is nearing the end, I am so thankful for this sweet pup.  I wanted to share a few stories about her, if you will indulge me. Photo credit: Marni Levinson Kahlua is a special dog - the BEST dog, if I may be so bold.  Am I biased? Of course. But she managed to win over my mom and my friend Sarah (who both don't like dogs), so that's saying something.  She is incredibly sweet and gentle.  She has always been very mild and her favorite thing is pretty much just to exist around people who love her.  ...And she also loves dry pasta and cheese as treats :)  I am Kahlua's primary dog-sitter when her moms are out of town, so we are buddies.  Before my niece and nephew were born, she was the pride of ou

The introvert extrovert debate rages on.  Do you think I am an introvert or an extrovert? I am in fact an introvert, by definition.  I am an outgoing introvert.  Does that sound like a contradiction? It's not.  Introverts are individuals who draw their energy from being alone. Solitude.  That doesn't mean they can't enjoy being with people or that they have to be shy and quiet.  In the same way that being an extrovert doesn't mean one has to be the life of the party.  They draw energy from being with people. When I take the Myers-Briggs test, it declares me an extrovert...or I am right on the line, split 50/50.  This is one of many reasons why I hate these personality tests.  They can be tools to help us understand one another, yes. But we are all complicated beings.  I cannot be defined by a series of letters based on a quiz. I recently read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking (Susan Cain) .  It was an interesting read and challeng

About a year and a half ago, I decided to grow out my hair so I could donate it.  When cancer patients go through chemo and lose their hair, it can be incredibly difficult.  As women, hair is so much a part of our identity. How we see ourselves. Often how we find our femininity.  My Aunt Kathy lost her hair when she was in treatment and that inspired me to do what I could to help patients.  There are some great organizations out there that give wigs to patients for FREE, like Pantene Beautiful Lengths . My hair is now long enough to donate (most places require a minimum of 8 inches), and I've decided to keep it long for a while longer. I'm running the Chicago Half Marathon in September, and pulling my hair back while running is much easier than working with a shorter style. I hope to cut it on my birthday, 3 days after the Chicago Half!  My hair hasn't been this long...well, maybe ever.  Here are some interesting lessons I've learned: Pull your hair back when brush

My best friend got married last weekend.  On their first date, he packed a picnic and they went to the Botanic Gardens.  The walked around then found a spot to set up their picnic and they read aloud to each other.  They are made for each other.  Me?  If a guy planned that for our first date, he'd have a hard time convincing me that we should go on a second date.  An ideal first date for me?  Take me to a game. Or just to bar to watch one over a couple of pints. The Blackhawks are in the midst of the semifinals against the LA Kings - the reigning champs.  They won last night on the road.  This was LA's first loss at home in the playoffs this year. And one of the Hawks'  best players was out.  The Blackhawks play as a team.  Yes - they have some great players and some good players.  At the end of the day (or game, I suppose), they play as a team. And I love watching that. The Miami Heat is in the final series for the NBA Championship - hoping for a repeat of last year.  

I'm sitting at my favorite Caribou Coffee for the last time (holding back tears, for reals).  Caribou is such an integral part of my life.  I feel like a dear friend is moving away.  Melodramatic?  Perhaps.  But who wants to sit and read or have deep conversation at a Starbucks?  Not me.  There is no warmth there. No fireplace. No beautiful wood tables with fun benches to sit on. No chalkboards to draw pictures or spell out your thoughts. No area for kids to play. No pictures of the founders adorning the walls. No trivia questions. Can I say no character?  Perhaps I am being too harsh. I like Starbucks for work and meetings. But it says nothing to my soul. Caribou - well, it is a place my soul has always felt at home. I worked at Caribou for a short time and grew closer to one of my besties, Sarah, during that time.  We used to send each other ridiculous messages in the memo line on the computer screens (sample: Devo = whipped cream. Whip it. Whip it good).  One day, one of us we

I was flipping channels in between periods of the Blackhawks game today and saw that Little Big League was on.  This movie has always been special to me, and it's been years since I've seen it.  It actually took me a while to remember why Little Big League has meaning for me.  Then I remembered - I was in the basement watching it when my parents called me upstairs to share some news with me.  They told me my dad had prostate cancer.   I was 14 at the time, and I didn't know how to respond.  Mom and Dad were pretty calm in sharing the news with me and led me to believe things would probably turn out well. I listened to what they said and then went back downstairs to watch the movie.  I cried on the couch - confused and scared. My dad had surgery and the cancer was gone. All things considered, perhaps the best cancer journey one could ask for.  I often forget my dad is a cancer survivor. It was a small blip on the timeline of our family, though it didn't feel like it

I took a trip to the Cayman Islands last week - well, really, just the one island: Grand Cayman. It was an amazing trip for multiple reasons.  I was reflecting on it last night through the lens of this blog (looking for love and kindness in ordinary life).  Jana and Em, two of my dear friends, were my companions on the trip.  I love them dearly, but that's the easy answer. I realized my two favorite parts of the trip involved meeting new people. We spent the bookends of our trip staying at Jana's friends' house (though I think I can call them my friends now, too).  Katie, Ryan and their boys opened their home and their lives to us in such generous ways.  The boys gave up their room for 2 nights. Katie made delicious meals - both of which I have already copied and made for myself at home.  They let us borrow their car to drive on the left side of the road around the island.  And so much more.  I loved having the opportunity to meet them and hear about their life on the isl

I wrote this on January 30, 2013 - the day Aunt Kathy lost her battle with ovarian cancer It is only fitting that it is raining today.  The skies are crying with me and my family.  My Aunt Kathy passed away this morning, and I can think of no other words to describe how I'm feeling other than my heart is broken. My Aunt Kathy was more than just an aunt to me, my sisters, and my 7 cousins.  She was there for every important milestone in our lives - and a lot of the unimportant ones too.  She treasured us and made us feel special. She was there for graduations, confirmations, weddings, birthdays, vacations and everything in between. She used to take me and my sisters shopping for our birthdays.  Each of us got our own shopping trip each year. We'd go to Hawthorn Mall together and have some quality Aunt/Niece time shopping for clothes.  She was always so generous with her time and attention. I was able to take a Spring Break trip to the Bahamas with her when I was 13.  Jus

I have today off of work for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and was able to watch some of the Inauguration Ceremony.  It made me think back on where I was four years ago on that historic day.  I was at work in a conference room (12B if I remember correctly) watching what I could over my lunch hour.  I was with my coworkers, who are also dear friends, and we watched history unfold before our eyes. What was going on in my life four years ago? My nephew, Drew, was just born. (That's a picture of us to the left. I just had the cast removed from my broken elbow when this picture was taken). I had no idea how much this little man would change my life.  It's like the story of the Grinch.  My small heart grew 4 times the day he was born, and it continues to grow the more time I spend with him.  He is a light in my life.  I didn't know, four years ago, that my niece Kate would enter the world in 2010.  Again, my heart grew in impossible ways when she entered my life.  She is alw

I am not a morning person.  Just ask my college roommate, Trisha.  Thankfully, she was not a morning person either. We had a standing rule in room 112: Do not speak to one another until both roommates have showered.  It's not that I'm mean in the morning. I just need about an hour or so of silence and solitude to be ready to face the world. Maybe this is an introvert thing? Anyway.  I take the train to work every day and this affords me about 40 minutes of silence and solitude to prepare for thoughtful interaction with others. I often spend this time reading or catching up on email. Sometimes I just stare out the window or listen to music. But I am not communicating with anyone - at least not verbally.  Once I get to work, I pour myself a cup of coffee and am ready to face the day.  No one talks on the train in the morning. I was talking about this with my Texan friend (the one and only) and he claims this is part of our culture in the Chicago area - people would talk to each

I was falling asleep last night and the intro to Love Actually was running through my mind. Chick flick? Yes. But the intro is worth watching. It is a simple concept. Love actually is all around.　 As I've been contemplating the start of a new year, I've been challenged to really live that concept. We are in the season of Epiphany on the church calendar. It is a season to remind us that miracles of love happen all around us. In the mundane. In the ordinary.　Jesus was born while his parents were traveling for the census. (Pregnant. And on a donkey.)   Mary gave birth in a manger, with livestock around witnessing this miracle. Miracles of love happen in the most unexpected ways in the most unexpected places. Love actually is all around. I am reading Fall of Giants and was reminded again of this concept from the character Billy. I haven't finished the book yet, but one story in the first chapter really touched me. Follett is a brilliant writer, so I'll let you read his