The Dining Room

Before and After

My dining room doesn’t have much natural light in it. It’s on the interior wall of my small condo and there are no windows. As a result, I don’t really like spending time in there. When I have people over for meals, we eat in the living room.  My poor dining room (the first room you see upon entry) has become a glorified closet over the past 6 years. It’s where I leave my shoes, throw my mail, drop my keys.  And I hate it.  I hate how messy it gets. I hate not having a space where I can eat with guests. As Jimmy Fallon would say: Like. Ew.

I’m not really gifted in interior design. I need help and inspiration.  I invited a couple friends over (Sarah and Sus) to help inspire me.  We ate in the dining room – one of the few times in 6 years I’ve eaten in there. We talked about the space and how I felt there. How it could be changed.  And off we went!  In the span of one week, I painted the hutch and table. I made a new tabletop which is amazing – and thanks largely to Jana’s skills. I got a new bench and some new accessories.  I love it now and can’t wait to host dinner parties!

So why did I wait 6 years to make this change?

As I spent hours priming and painting last weekend, I spent a lot of time thinking about that question.  It’s not about the paint or the room. But why, in our lives, do we spend years in situations/places we hate?  In the instance of my dining room, I had no vision for what it could be. No inspiration.  I had to invite some friends in that space to dream with me.

This is so true in my life.  I find myself in places or relationships that make me miserable. Jobs that defeat me. Patterns that destroy me. Most of the time I can recognize that they are bad, but I don’t do anything to fix it. I can’t begin to dream about what it could be and how my life could look different.  It takes courage to invite people into those places.  My dining room?  Eh, not so much courage.  But to say to a friend “Why do I keep falling for the same loser guy dressed in different skin?!” or “Why am I still in this job when I am so miserable?!”  These questions invite response. And those responses can be painful.

Thankfully, I have some wonderful friends.  They give me straight, truthful (often painful) answers.  They point out the patterns and dysfunction in my life.  But when I have finally decided that I am ready to make a change, they are there to help guide me. To help me see what I can’t see.  It reminds me of this lovely story shared on the West Wing between two of my favorite characters.  Better to watch Leo and Josh talk about it, but in essence, a good friend will get in the trenches with you and show you the way out.  I have so many of these friends in my life, it is overwhelming.

Who walks your journey, in the trenches, with you?  What places or relationships are making you miserable, and do you have the courage to invite others in – to seek help and make a change?

A better look at the new table top